You Really Know You’re a Dog Owner When. . .

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This week I decided to ask family and friends to contribute to my blog by finishing the sentence, “You really know you’re a dog owner when…”

Thank you to everyone who submitted.

For the first time in 21 years I own a dog again: Dolly, the 5-month-old Norfolk Terrier.  I’m sure my late cats Oscar and Mio are looking down from heaven, wondering what the #@$! *& has happened to their family.  Replaced by a terrier?  Quelle tristesse!

My husband Granville has always accused me of ruining the pets and he is right.  And I admit I fed my daughter’s hermit crabs, Happy, Teeny and Tiny, gourmet food, but if the truth be known, Granville built the crabs Frank Lloyd Wright style bungalows with Legos so he can hardly talk.

But I digress.

So here goes.

You Really Know You Are A Dog Owner When. . .

** You have probably 5000 pictures of your dogs on Facebook and about 25 pictures of your own child.

** You deeply mourn the loss of all of your dogs; you are confident there is a Rainbow Bridge and look forward to the day you are with them again.

Cindie.  Dogs are Floyd, Roobie Red, Boston Terriers; Minnie Pearl, Part Boston; and Jericho, stray hound, adopted

You really know you are a dog owner when. . .

** You spend hours researching the best dog food but order pizza delivery for yourself.

** Your social calendar and vacation schedule are determined by the dog sitter.

** When the weird mole on your leg can wait but the dogs needs a pedicure today.

Lynn. Dog is Shelton, Shetland Sheep Dog

You really know you’re a dog owner when…

** You reach under your pillow to grab a handkerchief and instead you pull out a dead mole, compliments of your hunting dog.

** You really know you’re a dog owner when you have to chase an opossum around your house because the dog brought it in.

** You really know you’re a dog owner when you wake up with back pain because all three 50 lb. dogs just have to sleep on the bed.

** You really know you’re a dog owner when dog hair is the new black and all your clothes become the forefront of the latest fashion.

Mary Madison.  Dogs are Bertie, Beau and Holmes, English Setters, all rescues

You really know you’re a dog owner when. . .

** You call your husband by the dog’s name and vice versa.

Mary.  Same dogs as above.  (Author’s note: Since the setters are my dog-nephews, I can vouch for how sweet they are!)

** You really know you’re a dog owner when you have more dog hair on your clothes and furniture than on your head.

Carolyn. Dogs are Mr. Buddy Wiggles, Mr. Blue Newman, Great Danes

** You really know you’re a dog owner when the first thing you do when you wake up is walk outside.

Granville.  Dog is Dolly, Norfolk Terrier

** You really know you’re a dog owner when you realize you’re wearing a fur coat or fuzzy socks and it’s not by choice (it’s the dog’s recently shedded fur) and you are okay with it.

** You really know you’re a dog owner when you come home and head for the back door to let the dogs out and the dogs aren’t even home.

** You really know you’re a dog owner when you find yourself giving the Pug a belly rub at the same time as a behind-the-ear to the Shep-yote (1/2 Shepherdesque, ½ skinny and tan with furry tail like a coyote) early in the morning and you haven’t even kissed your wife Good Morning yet!

Boudewijn.  Dogs are Brewskie, Pug, and Nayla, Shepherd mix rescue

You really know you’re a dog owner when your dogs’ needs supersede yours! ):

Heidi.  Dogs are Zeva and Gabby, Norfolk Terriers

* You really know you’re a dog owner when your child has gone off to college and the new dog becomes a replacement child. . .  Right before my daughter left for college, she and I were gifted two Blue Heeler puppies by a fellow horse woman who assured me that I would “appreciate the puppies more than I could imagine.” (I thought that at the time they would be helpful herd dogs with the cows and goats, but one of them because so so much more.)

At the same time I had to bottle feed an orphaned baby goat.  Watching the three baby animals frolicking together provided therapy for me after my child departed, and I jokingly told friends, “It took two puppies and a goat to replace Tiana when she went off to college.” Little did I realize this standing joke would eventually evoke torn-up tears from my visiting child!  I learned a lesson that day about puppies, goats, daughters, and supposed jokes.  While the goat grew horns, butted me, and wound up out with the herd, one of the Heeler puppies died under mysterious circumstances, and the other became my house puppy.  Previously, I had never allowed any dog in the house.  Awakening to the Empty Nest Syndrome may shock some and cause others to acquire a new “child” with his/her chez longue in every room.  Just saying. . .a sweet house puppy can warm up an empty nest!

Pam.  Dog is Reina, Texas Blue Lacy

** You really know you’re a dog owner when you kiss your puppy on the top of the head while singing “Your Mumma loves you and your Mumma loves you.  You’re my Boo.“  You are glad no one else in in the house.

** You really know you’re a dog owner when you reach in your pocket for your pretty spring-flowered handkerchief and pull out a poop bag.

** You really know you’re a dog owner when you are trying to read an article about housing shortages and you keep having to get up and throw a squeaky Clifford toy to distract your puppy from a weird stain on the carpet. (Christmas Eve? Super Bowl? Previous pets?) You give up on the housing shortage.

** You really know you’re a dog owner when you fumble Lambie into your first cup of coffee.

** You really know you’re a dog owner when you are standing in the middle of your front yard at 5:30 AM.  You are wearing the pale grey queenly robe your daughter gave you for Christmas and a pair of crinkley black patent loafers that are good for plantar fasciitis, all while waiting for your puppy to smell everything within a 50 square foot radius.  Last week, you ceased caring what the neighbors thought.

Tyler.  Dog is Dolly, Norfolk Terrier

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